


A Case of the Feely-Weelies

by bimothra



Category: Half-Life, Half-Life VR but the AI is Self-Aware - Fandom
Genre: Benrey is a stubborn little bitch, Gordon and Benrey ?????ship, Look Gordon Ropes, Oneshot, Shenanigans, Silly/Fluffy, Tommy and Benrey friendship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-29
Updated: 2020-05-29
Packaged: 2021-03-03 01:15:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,965
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24446446
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bimothra/pseuds/bimothra
Summary: Benrey’s Black Mesa Sweet Voice suffers an unintended side effect.
Comments: 6
Kudos: 190





	A Case of the Feely-Weelies

“Gordon, if we keep going at this pace, we’ll be 16 hours away from the Lambda Lab!” 

“Wh- I thought we were just at 8! How did we get  _ longer?!”  _

“maybe you’re slowing us down. with your uhhh…. sight seeing.”

Just another day in Black Mesa. 

“FUCK  _ OFF _ , MAN! If anyone’s been slowing us down, it’s been YOU! With your passport questions, CONSTANTLY!” Gordon shouted, grabbing Benrey by the shoulders and shaking him. 

“it’s not hard, bro. i just need your… your passport. that’s why i gotta follow you,” Benrey replied, unaffected by the vicious shakeage. 

Gordon sighed, letting him go as Benrey fell backwards slightly, but rebounded back onto his feet, wobbling in place like some sort of fucked up roly-poly toy. 

“Come along now, Gordon. You can shake Benrey all you want  _ after  _ the test,” Dr. Coomer chirped helpfully. He poked his head back around the corridor, waiting for the designated player character to follow him. 

Like a ghost, Benrey trailer after Gordon too. 

“GORDON! We need to fuck these up! Carry your weight!” Bubby shouted, kicking a crab in his direction.

“JESUS  _ FUCK-“  _ Gordon ducked, and luckily, the crab soared over his head. Unfortunately, it landed right on Benrey. “Bubby.  _ Bubby.  _ You guys have to TELL ME if there’s creatures around the corner! I gotta… I gotta be able to know! To work my reflexes, man!”

“He let you know by throwing one, Mr. Freeman!” Tommy protested, pointing his gun in Gordon’s direction as he faced him. 

“Dude- GET that gun out of my face, Tommy, and aim it at the CRAB ATTACKING BENREY,” Gordon yelled, moving further.

“noooo, man. this is my- my friend. my friend jer...stin.” 

“Jerstin?” Gordon croaked out quietly, swinging his torso around. He stared at Benrey, his eyes  _ pleading,  _ not for any real reason or emotion, but for once, just ONCE, he’d like to hear a normal explanation for anything coming out of the security guard’s mouth. 

“huh?” 

The crab was set on fire shortly after. 

Gordon, used to spontaneous combustion, sighed for a long, loooong time. After getting all his grievances out (via sighing), he continued along on his way. 

“Look, Gordon! Ropes! We can use these for big pits- HELP ME, GORDON!” There went Dr. Coomer, again. 

Gordon was getting sick of this. He loaded his gun, took aim, and fired, unfortunately missing every shot.

“Nice job fucking it up, dumbass!” Bubby shouted from higher up.

“Mr. Freeman! You have to shoot the ropes!” Tommy contributed, poking his head out just underneath Bubby. 

“you’re pretty bad at this,” Benrey said, monotone.

“I DON’T SEE ANY OF YOU GUYS HELPING!” Gordon yelled, as a general response to all three of them. He finally shot the barnacle, and Coomer tumbled gracefully from its grip, landing next to Bubby. 

“LISTEN. LISTEN. ALL OF YOU NEED TO STAY.. THE HELL… AWAY FROM-“ 

“Aaaaaaaa~” 

By far the scariest and most cryptic part of Benrey was the fact that he could shoot colourful orbs into someone, and somehow calm them down- even if Gordon absolutely didn’t need to. 

He had considered asking Benrey if he could patent the Black Mesa Sweet Voice to make antidepressants, but Benrey just shot orange at him. 

“...Ughhh. Okay. No shouting. I’ll use my indoor voice. Is that okay, with you? Is that fucking okay, Benrey?” Gordon huffed, waving his arm in his direction to signal a stop to the onslaught of balls. 

“yeah. calm down,” Benrey muttered, same as usual. His apathetic stare didn’t let up, but he seemed satisfied.

“ _ Great.  _ So glad we could have this heart-to-heart. Wonderful. Now can we continue to NOT DIE?-“ 

“AaaaAAAAAAAaa-“

“... _ What?”  _ Gordon turned around, seeing what was effectively a technicolor nightmare of balls- some of them really huge, some of them  _ very  _ lopsided. 

“wha?” Benrey stared at him, scooting closer. 

“T-Tommy. Tommy, wha’z this say?” Gordon said, gesturing in the direction of the Black Mesa Clusterfuck Voice. 

“Uhhh…” Tommy dropped down, weaving in and out of the mess. “Blue, to-to teal, to orange, to… red, an’...”

“Um… Mr. Freeman, I don’t think this says anything…” 

“Wh-“

“What do you  _ mean _ it doesn’t say anything. It has to say something. You can read this.”

Tommy shrugged sheepishly. 

“Okay, then I’ll ask YOU. Benrey. What the fuck did you just d-“ 

“AAAAA-“

Gordon got smacked in the face by a speedy rainbow of balls. It didn’t even hit his mouth, or anything like that! Just an assault! An assault on the senses! A Gordon-on-guard crime! 

Benrey was still staring at him, but his stare was slightly more wide-eyes as he backed away slowly. 

“that was intentional.”

“THEN WHAT DOES IT  _ MEAN?”  _ Gordon yelled. 

“Gordon, we should really get a move on,” Dr. Coomer said, leaping back into his line of sight and expertly ignoring the Black Mesa Mystery Globs. 

Gordon sighed. When Coomer decided it was time to go, it was time to go, and him and Bubby would make it their mission to constantly badger him about it. 

“Alright. Whatever. Whatever. I’m going,” Gordon said, and marched on in a huff. 

The next room only made Gordon’s ire grow- yet another physics puzzle. 

“Oh, boy. Okay, gang, let’s just… try to get through this as EASILY, and as PAINLESSLY as possible. Science team go. Do a… a team chant or whatever.” 

“Why would we want to do that?” Bubby asked, folding his arms. 

“Hello, Gordon!” Dr. Coomer greeted. 

“COOL. NEVERMIND, THEN,” Gordon said, running into the puzzle’s fray. Luckily, there wasn’t too much enemies, so he could concentrate…

But that wasn’t what was distracting him. 

“AAAAAAA-“

“BENREY! STOP WITH THE FUCKING SWEET VOICE! I’M CALM! I’M CALM!” Gordon shouted, popping out from behind a crate he was pushing. He stared at Benrey with an anger so fierce, it might incinerate the guard. Benrey said nothing in response, staring right back.

Then, it happened again. 

Benrey bounced up from the ground slightly, a high-pitched sound just barely coming out of his throat before being interrupted with a smorgasbord of Sweet Voice being shot like a cannonball. 

“Wh-“

“what’s up.” 

“Benrey.”

“Do you have the  _ hiccups?”  _

“no.” 

“AAAAA-!” 

Gordon smirked. “You  _ do!  _ You have the hiccups! HA HA! No more balls in my mouth NOW, huh? Can’t snark when your Black Mesa… Hiccups are happening? YES. This is the BEST MOMENT OF MY DAY SO FAR.” He pumped his fists in celebration, continuing to push the crate. 

“i hope you.. i hope you fail the puzzle.” 

“get bricked by the crate. bro.” 

“No! I won’t! I will SUCCEED at this puzzle, with a clear head! Thanks to you!” Gordon taunted, and Benrey’s only snappy comeback was yet another hiccup. 

“Benrey has the- the  _ hiccups?”  _ Tommy asked, his voice going up six octaves of whiny as he scooted closer to Benrey. 

“nahhh, bro. that guy is.. he’s a liar. he wants your credit card numbe- HIC!” 

Tommy dodged the Orb Artillery gracefully, shuffling back and forth every so often. 

“Ohhh no, Mr. Freeman! We gotta- We gotta help him! We gotta help Benrey!” 

“A hiccup (also spelled hiccough) is an involuntary contraction (myoclonic jerk) of the diaphragm that may repeat several times per minute. The hiccup is an involuntary action involving a reflex arc.[1] Once triggered, the reflex causes a strong contraction of the diaphragm followed about a quarter of a second later by closure of the vocal cords, which results in the "hic" sound,” Dr. Coomer said, with no real prompting. 

“THANK YOU, Dr. Coomer,” Gordon said many times, trying to cut him off. 

“I think he can just live with hiccups. It’s fine,” Bubby muttered. 

“See? Bubby gets it. Guys, we don’t- Benrey has never done anything to help US. Has he? All he does is ask for my passport. This is great. It’s a great development to our team. Maybe he’ll leave us alone finally,” Gordon said as he pushed a crate over. 

“No! Look how- look at how sad he is, Mr. Freeman!” Tommy cried, gesturing in Benrey’s direction, whose face was still stone-cold. 

“nah, man. it’s cool. this is my new, uh… secret weapon. of power.”

“Well… alright… If you say so…” 

Finally completing the puzzle, Gordon huffed with pride. “Now, let’s hustle before Benrey fucks my arrangement up.”

“Gordon, I’m hungry!” Coomer added. 

“Yeah, well, we’ll find you some soda. C’mon. C’mon.” 

The group waddled along like a bunch of stupid, stupid baby ducks. Gordon’s tunnel vision once again prevailed, and they walked right past a soda machine. Tommy, being the helpful coworker that he was, opened his mouth to tell Gordon of the machine he missed, but it slowly clamped shut as he remembered the… ferocity at which him and his science friends would devour soda cans. And he needed an individual can, just for something… 

He pressed a button on the soda machine, and quietly, gently, a can came tumbling out. He held it in his hand, as gently as he would a small creature, or perhaps Sunkist, if he were five times smaller. 

“Pssssst. Benrey. Benrey!” 

“wha? oh, yo, what’s up?” Benrey said, sprinting over to Tommy and promptly sitting on the intact machine. 

“I know… a way to cure your hiccups. I’m a- I’m a expert in soda, and science, I read about this. I know how to do it! Take this soda… and I’ll- I’ll show you how to do it. Okay?”

Benrey made grabby hands and Tommy slipped the can into his hand, balling and un-balling his fists in excitement. 

“So, the… The first step is to take one, BIG sip. Just chug it all.. like, like if we broke the machine open!” 

“can we break it?”

“Not yet! Not… Just trust me. I know this is gonna work. Now open the soda…”

Benrey jerked the tab up, watching the soda fizz up and carbonate. 

“NOW! Chug! Chug it!” Tommy cheered, and Benrey tilted his head back, making UNREAL slurpage noises. The slurpage was monstrous. It was incredible. Tommy had never seen chugging such as this. 

Eventually, Benrey took the can away with his lips, huffing like he had just ran a marathon.

He then crushed the can on his forehead. 

“So….? Benrey, how do you feel…?” Tommy asked.

“Aaaaaaaa~”

Tommy shielded his face, waiting for a horde of orbs to hit him, but then cracked an eye open to see…

A steady stream.

Purple, like the evening… of a spring evening.

“You’re okay!” 

Benrey gave a silent thumbs up. 

Tommy waited quietly, for a ‘thank you’ of some kind… it was out of character for Benrey, but maybe, just maybe- 

“bro, we should play some video games. right now.” 

“Uh… I think Mr. Freeman lost us. I gotta… I gotta go ahead,” Tommy said bashfully. 

“haha. niiiice.”

“i got pictures of his feet.”

Tommy smiled.

“MR. FREEMAN! WAIT FOR US!”

The two of them, rounding the corner, finally saw Gordon, sitting cross-legged with Bubby and Dr. Coomer.

“TOMMY! There you are! God, where were you? Did you… did you get lost, or.. or see a dog or something?” Gordon said, standing up. 

Tommy was quiet, sticking his hands in his pockets and trying to pick out what exactly he should say. 

“You missed a soda machine, Mr. Freeman!” Tommy finally decided that was all he really needed. 

“why would you miss that? i shouldn’t have let you in here.”

Gordon was about to press further, until he got interrupted quite physically by the bodies of two high-strung old men pushing past him.

“GORDON, MOVE IT OR LOSE IT.”

“Soda!”

Gordon sighed, as he was left alone with just him and Benrey. 

“So. You’re back to normal.”

“you missed me? cos we were best friends but then you made me get hiccups.”

“...”

“...”

Gordon punched him on the shoulder. 

**Author's Note:**

> this idea came to me at like 3am, the idea that benrey would get the hiccups and just fuckin get the sweet voice out of control. you guys remember during one of the backstage videos where bubby is just FUCKING around with the sweet voice? it’s that. i also wanted to put like, wowozela recoil because imagining benrey getting shot across the room thanks to a hiccup is SO funny. didn’t get to though. enjoy this! hlvrai has ruined my life


End file.
